I've got a good feeling about this....

It’s been a tough start to the year. I’ve had laryngitis for a month, my Dad had his knee replaced, Simon’s Gran died, my neighbour died, the boiler in my flat died, the heating in our house died, the list goes on.... And I turned up at my friends house at the weekend to find she has a cupboard in her lounge made out of an upturned coffin. Anyway - through all of it I feel really positive that this year’s going to be great.

I have decided to leave my job and start my own business or should I say businesses. I feel massively empowered and full of energy. Now while this may seem foolish given that I am also trying for a baby, I figured that the baby making could take years so why wait.

I also think working for myself and not having to commute for 3 hours a day will help with my chances of getting pregnant, from both a health point of view but also having the time to spend with Simon. To be frank, leaving the house at 6.30am every morning and returning at 8.30pm then having to go to bed at 10pm just to get enough sleep to keep going is not conducive to starting a family!

Also if I can get my business ideas off the ground before having a baby, then I can keep them going after the baby arrives as they are geared more towards me working locally.

I experienced my first ever pregnancy test this week in hospital. Due to this lingering laryngitis, I needed x-rays of my chest and sinus so the nurse wandered in and asked if I might be pregnant. As there was a chance, I was shown to the toilet and asked to pee on the stick. Now given that I hadn’t had anything to drink since 11pm the night before, it’s now 10.30am the next day and I had already been to the loo twice that morning, it took a while to get going.

The result was negative. How utterly disappointing. While it was my first test, I hope it will be my last because it was miserable having to sit there and see the negative result. If I'm going to find out I'm pregnant, I just want to wait and see if my period doesn’t come and find out that way.

To add insult to injury I had to drink something called barium swallow which was like drinking white paint. I was then told it would turn my poo white for the next couple of days and make me constipated. Delightful - just delightful.

But there was an upside to the week and they say good news comes in 3's. My friend Fiona had her second baby Toby who is just gorgeous. I spent a lovely weekend with the girls and Naomi didn't give birth while she was with us. Thank goodness. And finally I received a call from Charina saying she was 3 months pregnant with her next child. Hooray!

I'm amassing quite a large set of pictures on the fridge door now of various friends and families children. I just hope to add my own baby to the fridge door soon.

What if she gives birth!

Four of us are getting together at a Ceris' house in Leicestershire next weekend. Naomi is pregnant and is coming up from Kent. When I say pregnant, let me clarify that she is infact 2 weeks off being due.

So the emails started this week about what time to get there, what to bring, etc. The email conversation goes a little something like this below. Now I should say before reading it that Naomi is clearly getting very fed up with the snow, her largeness and life in general so please excuse the mild swearing. Also bear in mind that when she had Oscar around 5 years ago she nearly died in childbirth, found she had a rare blood disease and had to have her gall bladder removed at the same time:

Lisa: Yippee - can't wait!! Do you have hot water and soap just in case we're called upon to deliver a baby - god help you Naomi!

Naomi: The effin snow has set me back SO much, what with kids off school, not being able to get out and buy christmas presents, and a blinking LARGE baby in my belly - it's all so much hard work!!! So yes, I plan to be there by 6pm on Saturday, with my bottle of non alcoholic beer.....

Ceris: Hoorah, I'll see you all Saturday then. Towels, hot water and soap on standby...

Naomi: Are you CRAZY??? I'll need a whole lot more than towels and hot water if the baby comes when I'm up there!!! Some gear, for example would be good........!

Me: Would that be running gear - so you can run to the hospital perhaps? ;-) Or the latest fashion gear so you can look your best while giving birth. Or perhaps the latest shaving gear - also so you can look your best while giving birth!

Naomi: Ha Ha! Maybe you could shave my legs for me - I can't even wipe my own @rse, let alone reach down to shave my legs...... mind you, the long hairs have helped keep me warm in this weather!

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Ah the joys of motherhood. So much to look forward to!

A child's logic

I love Christmas. It's brilliant. I get to spend time with my nephew and niece. It's also a time when James inevitably shares some more of his wonderful logic and perceptions of the world with me.

For example, I went to collect him from a friends house in my new red coat. I love this coat. My husband very kindly bought it for me as a present at the start of the winter and I wear it on days when I'm feeling confident about myself.

I turned up and got a huge hug from him, although it's apparently becoming less cool for him to be seen doing this now. My Mum tells me he no longer hugs her when she's picking him up from school as he is nearly 8 now.

Anyway, after a couple of minutes we leave and head to the car and he turns to me and asks "Why are you wearing your dressing gown?". I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. Hilarious!

So I take him to my Mum's where he persuades her to play on the DS with her while I start tea. A short while later he comes into the kitchen with my Mum's glasses, takes a piece of kitchen roll and proceeds to clean them. I thought nothing of it but a while later, he came in and did the same thing again. When I asked him why he was cleaning his Nana's glasses he explained that he thought she might play better if she could see better!

Only a child's logic.